Friday, December 30, 2011

check it out please

this is legit. it helps the ninja do blogging! sorry for my leave of absence by the way. so check out:

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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Question: Do Ninjas Celebrate Thanksgiving?

Answer by Ninja #14: Nope! We still eat Prunes and Cows! A recent discovery showed that it may make us cooler if we do! So we've put it on the chopping block.




Television is to us ninjas what normal clothes are to lady gaga. They just don't fit together. There is one thing that is a universal loss to everyone and everything. Time. Why should elite ninja warriors like us waste our time looking at what we could be doing. That is more entertaining to us. Its also ninjaCode 4, "97% of the time it is better to do than to oversee." <(Translated to regular person terms). The world would be chaos if ninjas were lazy! So I must admit a guilty pleasure of ninjas. Grey's Anatomy. We never miss an episode! How cool is it to watch drama of that intensity!!! Oh our gosh! It is very satisfying to a hardworking Ninja to watch People with rectangular badges run around in an envelopment of adrenaline. We relate. But that is all.


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Sick Ninja

      What is it like to be a ninja when you are sick, with like say...the flu? Well my non-existent friend, i feel much like you do except for one thing! Instead of going on missions and defeating baddies, we train. So instead of burning 40,000 kilo-calories (14lbs of prunes and 3 cows), we will only burn 25,000 kilo-calories (7lbs of prunes and 2 cows). But in the morning we always have our lucky-charms! Because they truly are magically delicious!


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Perks of being a ninja.

Being a ninja isn't all just about defeating bad guys with a single slap to the face followed by a disposal by being sent on a disposable rocket into space. It also includes testing the latest ninja hardware. Specifically, we currently are testing the 35th generation iPod Touch. We are testing its ninja gear and stealth capabilities. It has a 3d tangable holographic screen, Lava FlameThrower, tazer, Infrared nightvision X-Ray thermal 50megapixel camera with flash capability. It also comes with a bomb inside so incase it gets captured by the bad guys, it'll blow up! The best part is that it fits in your pocket. The only issue we found is with the tazer. Since the tazer button is on the outside and we put the device in our pocket, we end up tazing ourselves... quite often... Other than that its great...I cant wait to see how people are going to use it when it comes out in 43 years.


Sunday, November 13, 2011

Ninja #14 on supermarkets.

       Food is a great asset for a ninja. It helps us go faster, stronger, and quieter. You may be wondering what us ninjas eat, huh? We grow prune seeds from dilapidated asses (donkeys). Why? Because we can! Bawahahahahahaha! But recently we ran out of dilapidated asses because the UPS truck that delivers them drove into a mine field. Therefore we had two options of which we could chose both options or one. It was either Fed-Ex next day air or *gasps* the dreaded supermarket. Now the ninja donation fund jar/piggy bank was low due to an economic crisis so Fed-Ex next day air was swiftly chopped out of the picture. So the court of executive ninjas had an almost majority vote on going to the supermarket, the beverly hills ninja wasn't paying any attention so he voted Fed-Ex, we were all like "Wow dude". Anyway, the court sent none other than me to go to the supermarket. So I'm sneaking into the supermarket via the sewers (brilliant idea, i know) and I step on a sewer rat. As usual it squeals, but this time apparently it had swallowed a woman's wedding ring that had a very pointy diamond on it. Sadly, the ring came out of the rat's rear end so quickly that it broke a "dirty" sewage pipe that some how ended up on the lower middle-body back side (if you know what I mean) of my uniform. I looked like I "unloaded" into my pants to say the least. I finally infiltrated (lol) the supermarket with my smelly, brown, wet ninja uniform to get some prunes. It was just my luck that the local discount supermarket didn't carry prunes. In fact, the clerk said that he had never heard of a prune and asked what it was before passing out due to inhalation of the toxic fumes reeking off of my uniform. Needless to say, it was a decently awful day. You must control life or life will control you. Until next time...


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Ask the ninja your questions!

Ask and you shall recIeve I am dedIcated to answerIng each and every questIon, for a lImIted tIme that Is...hahaha.