Sunday, November 13, 2011

Ninja #14 on supermarkets.

       Food is a great asset for a ninja. It helps us go faster, stronger, and quieter. You may be wondering what us ninjas eat, huh? We grow prune seeds from dilapidated asses (donkeys). Why? Because we can! Bawahahahahahaha! But recently we ran out of dilapidated asses because the UPS truck that delivers them drove into a mine field. Therefore we had two options of which we could chose both options or one. It was either Fed-Ex next day air or *gasps* the dreaded supermarket. Now the ninja donation fund jar/piggy bank was low due to an economic crisis so Fed-Ex next day air was swiftly chopped out of the picture. So the court of executive ninjas had an almost majority vote on going to the supermarket, the beverly hills ninja wasn't paying any attention so he voted Fed-Ex, we were all like "Wow dude". Anyway, the court sent none other than me to go to the supermarket. So I'm sneaking into the supermarket via the sewers (brilliant idea, i know) and I step on a sewer rat. As usual it squeals, but this time apparently it had swallowed a woman's wedding ring that had a very pointy diamond on it. Sadly, the ring came out of the rat's rear end so quickly that it broke a "dirty" sewage pipe that some how ended up on the lower middle-body back side (if you know what I mean) of my uniform. I looked like I "unloaded" into my pants to say the least. I finally infiltrated (lol) the supermarket with my smelly, brown, wet ninja uniform to get some prunes. It was just my luck that the local discount supermarket didn't carry prunes. In fact, the clerk said that he had never heard of a prune and asked what it was before passing out due to inhalation of the toxic fumes reeking off of my uniform. Needless to say, it was a decently awful day. You must control life or life will control you. Until next time...


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